Lattes and Felonies
by Hedonism Blues
Summary: Somehow, Roxas had started the day in a Starbucks apron and ended it in a stranger's house, drunk and having the time of his life. Maybe, from now on, he could just learn to make a needlessly-complicated drink without threatening somebody. Probably not though, he is only human


_**Lattes and Felonies**_

_**Okay everybody, hope you like this story from a video game that is in no way, shape, or form mine.**_

* * *

"Hello sir, what would you like today?" Roxas asked, smiling hard enough at the red-haired gentleman before him to expose his molars.

"Yeah, I'd like a double tall, nonfat, half-caf, extra-hot latte with whipped cream, vanilla, hazelnut, almond, raspberry, and toffee nut syrup, extra foam, 2 packets of Sweet 'n' Low, 1 packet of sugar, 1/2 pack of Equal, and caramel sauce," said the man, barely even glancing up from his cellphone as he dictated.

Roxas felt his smile slip.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

The man looked up from his phone and, with a look of great annoyance, recounted his order.

"…what?"

"Jesus, do you want me to write it down on for you?"

"Excuse me, but maybe you should have. Especially if you planned on coming in with that outrageous order," Roxas said, dropping his smile and narrowing his eyes.

"I would like a double tall, nonfat, half-caf, extra-hot latte with whipped cream, vanilla, hazelnut, almond, raspberry and toffee nut syrup, extra foam, 2 packets of Sweet 'n' Low, 1 packet of sugar, 1/2 pack of Equal, and caramel sauce," said the man, barely even glancing up from his cellphone as he dictated," the man said slowly. "Did you catch all that?"

Putting on his best 'customer service' face back on, Roxas nodded and asked his name.

"I'm Axel," the man said as he brought his phone back up to texting level.

Without any further comments, Roxas spun around and shouted the order back to the barista on bar.

After repeating it to him 4 more times, the drink was on its' way to the arrogant yuppie bastard in front of him, so Roxas was free to ignore him in favor of less egotistical customers.

However, in an anomaly that was worth bringing up to Ripley's Believe It Or Not™, their Starbucks was empty. At 4 o'clock, on a Friday, Starbucks was deserted. Exempting a certain red-headed jerk, of course. So, of course, Roxas was forced to interact with that him when Axel began talking to him.

"So, Blondie, what's up?" Axel said, leaning towards him.

Roxas gave a noncommittal grunt. He was more surprised that he had managed to separate himself from his phone long enough to actually interact with somebody.

"Oh, come on. You know you want to talk to all this."

Roxas couldn't keep back a snort. Well, he didn't really try, but still, it escaped.

"Ha! Got you to laugh, short-stuff," Axel said victoriously.

"My name is Roxas," he snapped, sick of Axel's preening. "And I wasn't laughing with you, believe me."

Before Axel could respond, with a 'witty' retort, no doubt, a new customer walked in. It wasn't just any customer, it was Roxas' younger sister—Naminé, honor roll student & artist. She looked at the situation he was stuck in for a split-second before understanding the problem with this equation

"Hey, you're kind of cute," Axel said, turning to face Naminé, lecherous glint in his eye.

Roxas felt his latent protective instinct rise up and demand blood. Before he could say something, however Naminé spoke first, and she dashed any hopes of getting help getting away from this…person. Her words were so unexpected, so perversely against everything that he'd come to know about his sister that his jaw may have sustained injury from the speed that it impacted the floor.

"Thanks, you're not that bad yourself," she said.

Then, as if she had said _nothing at all_, she walked up to him and ordered her usual drink (shaken iced passion tea, venti, unsweetened).

"Don't talk to him!" Roxas whispered, handing her back her change. "He's a dick!"

"He seems cool to me," Naminé said.

"I mean it, Naminé, or else."

"Or what?" Naminé asked sweetly, batting her eyes.

Roxas didn't want to play this card, but desperate time call for desperate measures.

"Or you have to pay for this drink."

The look on Naminé's face was one of abject horror.

"You wouldn't do that," she said. "Not to me."

"Try me," Roxas said to her, feel triumphant.

Her usually pale face turned several undocumented shades of red before she stomped her foot and huffed away to her usual table. Very far from Axel, much to Roxas' enjoyment.

Axel looked at her in surprise before looking back at Roxas with raised eyebrows. Roxas gave his best 'ha-ha-I-win' smile. Axel shrugged and gave a dick-ish grin before lifting his phone back up and texting rapidly once more. There was a sound from behind him that took him a moment to recognize as Axel's drink being done. He snatched it with much more violence than necessary and held it out to Axel.

They stood there for a minute, neither one saying anything. Finally, exasperated, Roxas broke the silence.

"Dude, take your drink."

"Oh no, not yet," Axel said, with another smile. "I think that I want you to say my name. I did go through all the trouble of giving it to you, after all."

Roxas looked Axel in the eyes and, with all the care he was capable of, he set Axel's drink down on the counter.

"Really?" Axel said, pouting. "I thought you liked me."

"Really," Roxas said. "I don't, you were wrong."

Naminé's much-simpler drink was done shortly after that. Most of the time in the interim was spent in a silence so thick that it was almost physical.

When Naminé was handed her drink, she leaned in conspiratorially and said, in a whisper, "Now that you paid for this, I'm going to talk to that guy. That's what you get for telling me what to do." Almost as an afterthought, she added, "You bastard."

She walked away after that. Roxas sighed and gave the two of them, now engrossed in what seemed to be a very scintillating conversation about the Roaring Twenties.

He allowed their conversation to fall to the background as the first new customer in 15 minutes walked in. It was a skinny woman with short, blonde hair that had two…antennae that managed to defy gravity and stick straight up.

Roxas was so happy to be able to talk to somebody that wasn't a total tool or his sister that he didn't even need to fake his smile when he asked for her order.

"I want a grande iced caffé americano. If you fuck this up, I will kill you," the newcomer stated plainly.

Roxas just let the smile slide from his face before sighing and telling the barista behind him the order.

"What's your name?" Roxas asked, resigned to the fact that his customers today were the worst people that this town had to offer.

"Larxene, now hurry up before I flay you." She said.

Larxene looked around to see if any other people were in the store. When she saw Axel, they both looked almost overjoyed to have found each other.

"Larxene, you sadistic cunt, good to see you again," Axel shouted, getting up from his seat and rushing towards her to envelope her in a giant hug.

"It has been a while since I saw you, you double-crossing asshole," Larxene said, returning the hug.

They continued in that vein for a while, before Naminé coughed lightly.

"Oh, yeah. Larxene, this is my brand-new friend Naminé; Naminé, this is Larxene," Axel said, doing something that Roxas thought was far above him: proper human etiquette. "And this is Roxas, he's kind of a dick, but he's pretty cute."

Ignoring Roxas' rage, Larxene looked over at him and gave him a once-over.

"If you're into that."

Larxene's drink was finished just then, and, grabbing it and shouting her name, he slammed it down onto the counter. Before she could open her mouth to retaliate, Roxas pointed at Axel and beckoned him forwards, making a silencing gesture with his other hand.

Axel walked over to him and began to say something cocky and was shushed by Roxas, who was looking at his watch. This went on for about 2 minutes before a different barista walked in. Roxas continued to look at his watch. The two girls lost interest and Larxene began talking to Naminé about the virtues of reading Marquis de Sade.

It was finally 2 minutes later that Roxas finally spoke.

"My shift just ended," Roxas said, calmly. "So I'm going to cuss you the fuck out."

Axel's jaw dropped, along with Larxene's. Naminé, however, had already been expecting this for some time now, so she pulled out her sketchbook with the hopes of at least catching an action pose to draw.

"You self-absorbed little dick," Roxas began. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think that it's okay to act the way you do, you selfish prick? Newsflash: It really fucking isn't! There are so many fucking coffee shops in this town that, even if you go to a different one every day, I shouldn't have to see your stupid-ass face around here for a while, okay motherfucker? Don't talk to me or my fucking sister! Ever!"

There was a silence during which a pin would have been a fool to drop, everybody looked at Roxas. Gaped at him, really. Even Larxene, bastion of crudeness, was rendered speechless by the tirade.

Finally done, Roxas spun around and moved towards Naminé so the two of them could leave. Axel's hand shot out and grabbed his arm. It finally occurred to Roxas that he just might get beat up. People who think highly of themselves usually don't take well to having their ego punctured.

Axel raised his hand and Roxas just stared at him. Maybe he thought that, through sheer willpower, he would be able to deflect the incoming strike. However, instead of a beating, Roxas found that he was now receiving a vaguely ticklish feeling from his forearm. He blinked and saw that Axel was now putting the finishing touches on his phone number, now written on Roxas' arm in permanent marker.

Having learned nothing from what could have possibly been a near-death experience, Roxas immediately asked the first thing that popped into his head.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Without missing a beat, Axel replied. "We should go get something to eat. I wanted you to have my number first."

Roxas was worn out by a day consisting of dealing with terrible, terrible people. He began to speak, and then stopped. Tried again with the same results. Without attempting to say anything else, Roxas grabbed Naminé and his backpack and walked out of Starbucks.

Axel watched Roxas leave and then turned to Larxene with a smile on his face. "I think he's going to call me."

She snorted and took a sip of her drink, "In. Your. Dreams."Naminé was sitting in the living room watching TV. The sound echoed through the 2 bedroom apartment that their parent had bought for the two of them with the express condition that Roxas and Naminé pay for utilities themselves.

Naminé was watching TV as a distraction from her earlier pursuit: trying to get Roxas to call Axel. She'd been talking about him all day. About how cool he is once you get to know him. About how he just comes off rude. Never mind the fact that Naminé had only talked to him for an hour, she knew him.

Roxas was adamant that he not actually have anything to do with Axel. In fact, Roxas had been scrubbing at his arm constantly in his efforts to remove the Axel's number from his skin, but nothing had happened aside from his skin growing frighteningly red.

"Hey, Naminé," Roxas called into the living room.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Did you drink the last of the milk?"

"Yeah," Naminé at least had the decency to sound sheepish. "My bad."

"It's cool, I was thinking about going to the store anyways," Roxas said, grabbing his keys and putting them in his pocket.

He walked to the front door, slipping on a sweater as he went.

"Bye, love you," Naminé said, not even moving from her place on the couch. "Get popcorn."

Roxas grinned and zipped up his sweater as he faced the cold, twilight air. "Bye Naminé, love you too."

He closed the door behind him and began walking, moving slightly faster than normal in an effort to make it back before the sun went down completely. With his hands in his pockets, Roxas walked past a house party, the noise, and people, spilling out on to the sidewalk.

He got to the store and grabbed some milk from the produce section. He stood there for a while, debating on whether or not to get Naminé's popcorn. Eventually he caved and began heading towards the snack isle. He got to the register. Smiling at the cashier, he put his two items on the belt and pulled out his money.

She handed them, bagged and with the receipt and change inside, and wished him a good day. He was on his way out of the store when something downright improbable happened.

Roxas was a man that believed in logic. Fate, and things like it, had no place in his life. But that day, that _terrible_ day, Roxas began to believe in an almighty force. It wasn't Buddha, God, or Zeus. It was an entirely different, entirely malevolent force. It had to be pure evil to make any person run into those two twice in any day. As of yet, there was no name to classify such a being of evil.

"Hey, Axel, it's that little fucker from the coffee shop!"

No, it did have a name, Roxas decided. Its name had to be Larxene.

The woman in question was currently being weighted down by two bottles of whiskey and a case of beer. Axel, behind her, was under similar conditions. Axel placed his things down next to the cashier and moved towards Roxas at Olympic speeds.

"So, wh-" Axel began to say

"No," Roxas said. "Go away."

"Touchy, touchy," Axel said, recovering from being cut off almost immediately.

Roxas sighed and began walking towards the exit, not even acknowledging the redhead bothering him.

"Are you ignoring me?" Axel asked. "Stop it."

Roxas continued walking and was blissfully close to the exit when he heard the following exchange behind him.

"Larxene, he won't talk to me!"

"So? That's not my problem."

"I'll bother you instead."

"Fuck that! Hey, shorty! Shorty, get over here! Hold on, Axel pay for this."

He'd just managed to make it outside when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

"Goddamn, you little shit, stop walking away from me."

Roxas turned around and was brought face-to-face with Larxene.

"Look, I'm going to let you live to see the morning if, and only if, you talk to that little red-haired bitch over there, okay?" she said.

"Are you going to let me go home? Am I going to die?" Roxas began to panic. "I don't want to die! Please, God!"

"No, not yet; maybe, stop talking and we'll see," Larxene said, answering him terrifyingly, "We're going to go to a little party at my house. You're going to stay, mingle for while with dipshit over there, and then make your way home. Any questions?"

"But, my sist-"

"Nope, don't give a shit."

"The milk-"

"I've got a fridge."

"Will you hurt me if I don't go?" Roxas asked, looking from underneath his eyelashes.

"Almost definitely," Larxene said, smiling for the first time. It was the scariest thing that Roxas had ever seen. "Hey, Axel," Larxene yelled to him. "Shorty wants to come to our little party."

"That's great, but maybe you should help with these bags," Axel said.

Five minutes (and a copious amount of threats later), the three of them were on their way to the party. Axel and Larxene were talking about nothing in particular, and having a great time, while Roxas walked further and further behind them. His plan was to fall back until he could make a break for it and drop the stupid case of beer that they'd got him to carry.

"Wow, Roxy. You got to speed up man," Axel said, ruining his chances of a quick getaway.

Roxas sped up and started walking at the same speed as the other two. He'd been paying attention to the route they'd been taking, just in case he didn't get away from them before they got to their destination. It was dark out now, the sun having just finished its descent.

Party? It was probably just a flesh-harvesting ring, or something. In some dark and abandoned warehouse. All covered in rust and blood and-wait, Roxas recognized this house.

They were currently walking across the lawn of the house that was having a party when Roxas left his house. Right next door to his apartment complex.

Roxas came to a halt. "Wait, you guys live here?"

"Yeah, home, sweet home," Axel said, draping an alcohol-laden arm around his shoulders. "Nice, isn't it?"

Roxas was too stunned to even shrug Axel's shoulder off of him. How could he have lived next-door to these people all this time and never have realized it?

"Hurry the fuck up!" Larxene shouted, already on her way into the house.

Roxas was so shocked that he actually walked into the house. Once they were in the house and the music was blaring, it was like Roxas was in an entirely different world. People walked in and out of rooms, drink spilled all over the carpets, and nobody knew the importance of personal space.

Roxas followed Larxene into the kitchen and set the drinks down on her counter. Now that the shock had faded from his system, Roxas was on the lookout for a way out of this place.

Axel walked over to the drinks and opened a bottle of vodka. "We should do some shots before the rest of these animals get to the liquor."

Without waiting for anyone to agree with him, Axel took a shot glass, filled it to the top, and knocked it back. He repeated the process three times before putting the bottle down. Roxas shuddered from just imagining the taste of that.

Luckily, he didn't have to imagine for very long, as Larxene had dragged him over to the bottle and given him his own shot in a little less than thirty seconds. Almost sensing his reticence, Larxene gave him her best evil smile as she drank her own shot and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"I'm going to punch you in the stomach if you don't drink that _now_."

Roxas stared at her, wide-eyed. Larxene cracked her knuckles and smiled again. Waiting no longer, Roxas tilted his head back and swallowed the drink.

"Jesus!" Roxas exclaimed, throat burning and eyes watering.

Larxene just laughed at him and poured two more shots. "We're not done until you're done with five."

* * *

Four shots later and Roxas had changed his views on his hosts completely. Larxene wasn't mean, she was just misunderstood, and Axel was just funny.

He still hadn't forgotten that this had just about measured up to kidnapping, so he was just waiting for the right time to make his escape.

A kid with shoulder-length silver hair walked in and got Axel with some story about a kid named Sora "hanging off the banister and throwing empty beer cans at people." About five minutes after that Larxene got out of her seat and headed off to the bathroom.

Roxas knew that now was the time to execute his plan. Unfortunately, he hadn't been counting on 7.5 ounces of vodka complicating matters. With only a few stumbles, Roxas had his food and was out the back door. He stood still for a minute on the grass to get his bearings, and that turned out to be his undoing.

"Off so soon?"

Roxas spun around quickly, which led to him falling down even faster.

"Oh, shit! Roxas," said the voice that he now recognized as Axel.

He landed on his back in the (very soft) grass. The night sky above him was full of stars. He closed his eyes and relaxed. When he opened them again, Axel's face was looming above him, blotting out the stars. Concern was etched on his face.

"With you leaning over me like that, I feel like Sleeping Beauty," Roxas said, propping himself up on his elbows.

Axel's face was now the perfect picture of confusion as he leaned back. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine, Mr. Charming," Roxas said, falling back onto the grass with his eyes closed, laughing.

Suddenly, there was the briefest pressure on Roxas' lips. Axel pulled back and looked at Roxas, who's eyes had fluttered back open, with a small smile on his face.

"You awake yet, princess?"

"I don't know, you should try again," Roxas said, closing his eyes again.

This time the kiss lasted longer and Axel pulled away breathing heavy. Roxas grabbed the front of Axel's shirt and pulled him down into another kiss. Axel gave in and their tongues moved together slowly, pushing, pulling, and tasting.

Roxas moved suddenly, rolling Axel under him. Axel tipped easily and propped himself up on his elbows, staying in contact with Roxas' mouth the whole time. Roxas broke the kiss and leaned down to lick and suck at Axel's neck. Axel began to gasp every time that Roxas' tongue made contact with his heated skin.

Stopping Roxas from continuing any further, Axel leaned up and pulled Roxas' shirt off, his own following after it. Roxas was rolled over by Axel, who began kissing a path down Roxas neck. When he got to Roxas' nipples, he licked and bit at the small nubs, Roxas' moans playing like a soundtrack in the background. He continued down his stomach until he reached the waistband of Roxas' jeans. He stopped there and locked eyes with Roxas.

"Are you sure that you want to-" Axel began to ask.

"Yes, please," Roxas gasped out, cheeks flushed by alcohol and pleasure.

"Gotcha'," Axel said with a smile.

He unbuttoned the blonde's pants and continued down until the base of Roxas' erection was against his lips. He licked from the bottom to the top, sucking in the very tip of the younger boy's manhood. Roxas cried out, his head spinning from the pleasure.

Axel bobbed his head up and down, sucking harder and harder every time he made his way back up. Roxas' fingers knotted in Axel's hair. Axel heard Roxas try to warn him about his climax, but, with a final trip up Roxas' shaft, Roxas came into Axel's mouth, crying out his name.

Before either one of them could do anything, there came the sound of breaking glass. The silver-haired boy's voice poked out of a window. From his vantage point he couldn't see the two of them, but that didn't stop him from yelling out Axel's name.

Spitting, Axel answered. "What is it, Riku?"

"Sora went into the pet room, and your ocelot bit him! Should we call the ambulance?" Riku asked.

"No, if anything, Sora will make Dr. Fuddershins sick," Axel called back. "Now leave me alone!"

"Okay then, man," Riku said, disappearing back into the house.

"Where were we again?" Axel said, turning back to face Roxas.

"Right about here," Roxas said, leaning forward and undoing Axel's pants.

Roxas pulled down Axel's boxers and took his dick into his mouth, no preamble involved. He used one of his hands to get the very base, where his mouth couldn't reach. Axel let out a groan and his knees went weak. To keep himself standing, however, he had to focus on not going completely limp. That proved to be difficult, when Roxas revealed his true skills as a blowjob professional. In just a few minutes Axel was ready to explode.

"Roxas, I'm gonna'-" Axel tried to warn the boy.

"I know," Roxas said, lifting his mouth from Axel's cock just long enough to speak before going back at it.

With a groan, Axel came into the other man's mouth. Axel, high off endorphins, didn't notice that Roxas had already gotten dressed until the blonde was picking up his bag of food.

"You're leaving?" Axel asked, trying and failing to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"Yeah, but maybe we should get something to eat. I'll be by around 3:00, okay?" Roxas said.

"Yeah, okay," Axel said, smiling. "3:00 for sure."

"And, by the way, you should pull up your pants." Roxas said, walking out of Axel and Larxene's backyard, leaving Axel standing there with his pants around his ankles and a stupid grin on his face.

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_**Okay, I hope that you liked it, have fun reviewing. You will review right? Because if you don't, I might get angry. And I know that you won't like me when I'm angry. So review, please!**_


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